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20 Lessons I’ve Learned Since Leaving the Church

Amen to this! 🙂


IMG_0196 My unapologetic, Black self. 2016.

I haven’t been to church in over a year now, and I’ve been pondering how I should address what I’ve discovered along the way. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you probably could’ve never guessed that I would end up here. I never imagined that I could exist outside the Church I once held so dear. But due to the routine state-sanctioned violence that is being inflicted on my people, and the inadequate response from the church (among other things), I have decided to remove myself entirely from a system that claims to value my soul, but fails to show up for my Black body. I’ll probably end up writing a book about this one day, but in the meantime, here are 20 things I’ve learned since leaving the church:

  1. God is not a man.
  2. There is no pre-determined path called “God’s will”…

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Comparison: The Thief of Joy

Things Are Not Always As They Appear

I am never alone.

Wear Love Everywhere you go. -Colossians 3:14

We are taught a couple common themes within our lifetime. You are taught growing up that you’ll be a princess, you’ll find your prince, and your life is a Disney story. This theme carries on while little girls are brushing their hair, having tea parties, envisioning their princess wedding dress. This continues on until the cold reality of growing up sets in. We face diversity, ethics, morals, we face bullying, hatred, being alone and thus a new theme is born; you were born alone, you will die alone.

For one, I believed that for a long time. I often struggled with my faith, until faith was no longer in my vocabulary. I chased after the wrong people, took the wrong path. I found myself struggling day to day fighting off sadness, fighting off a feeling that shouldn’t be there, fighting off emptiness. I didn’t quite know how to ask what…

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Life Is Like a Rollercoaster: Two Reasons You Should Not Worry

Contemplation Book: Volume 1

Explore To Serve

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Contemplation is a word that I use to describe a practice of deeply investigating thoughts, ideas and beliefs in order to discover the Truth of who we are. Contemplation may be viewed with great similarity of those practices called prayer and meditation. And although the word contemplation has become associated with various religions and movements over the years, it is a word that I felt lacked some of the connotations associated with the words meditation and prayer.

Truth, I believe is beyond what we conceptualize or theorize in the mind. This is not to say that thoughts and ideas are not as well aspects of Truth; simply that what we think of as being truth is not itself the Truth. Truth is not a thought, although thinking is an act of Truth.

This book is a collection of essays. These writings are meant to inspire thoughts and…

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The curse of Facebook envy….

This is brilliant – many thanks for this, Paula. So true!…

Ugly Grace

I logged on to Facebook the other day, took a quick whizz through my news feed and then, with a sense of gloom, logged out feeling just a smidge depressed.

I think it was a bit of a grey day anyway – you know how it goes – not enough sleep and a few grumpy moments, conspire to create an underlying crankiness. To then look at Facebook and Twitter & see a bunch of smiling, laughing, large groups, boasting, sharing, perfect, unblemished lives….well, it kinda just left me deflated.

Facebook envy….that’s what it is.

Facebook envy is looking at another person’s life on Social Media and coming to the conclusion that your life doesn’t quite measure up. Which is essentially why, on a blue day, I found Facebook to be rather depressing.

The truth is, my life does measure up. No life is perfect but it’s got enough of the…

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