Tag Archives: chocolate

Prayer 140: Easter happiness

Dear God

Thank You for chocolate and champagne, as they both really make the weekend truly wonderful. But thank You most of all for Easter, and for the hope that miraculous Easter Sunday brings to us all. In the words of the young people, You rock.

Prayer 5: Difficult people

Dear God

People are really annoying. Sorry, as I know they are Your great big idea and the creation You’re most proud of, but some of them are seriously, almost professionally, irritating. Is there not a way You might consider of keeping them more under control? So they don’t want to talk a lot about things I have no interest in, and they don’t keep on giving me things to do or more responsibilities to take on. There must be some way of holding up a sign saying “Please could you go away now …” without them getting upset and then refusing to speak to me again?

It’s not that I want to hurt people (at least, not the ones I like anyway) but they do go on so, and they never choose their times for social interaction wisely. Sometimes a woman just wants to be left alone with a bar of chocolate and a glass or two of wine (see earlier prayers), and has no wish to listen to all the woes of the world around her. That’s Your job, surely.

On the other hand, maybe You think I’m pretty irritating too and You’re just being terribly Godly (which is surely easier for You than it is for me, I can tell You …) in listening to my ramblings at all. I am of course more than grateful that at no time in our long and increasingly tricky relationship have You held up a sign asking me to go away and save it till later. Or if You have, I have been too spiritually blind to see it, which is probably a blessing in itself.

With that in mind, I’ll try to be more patient with people in the future, but You’re going to have to make an effort to help me as well. I certainly can’t be nice on my own. Not for long anyway. Though, whatever happens, I won’t be straying too far from the chocolate or the alcohol, I can tell you. Thank you.

Prayer 1: Unpaid bills

Dear God

I’ve just opened those urgent looking envelopes that have been lurking in the kitchen for a while now and I see I’ve not paid the bills. I’m not sure if there’ll be enough money left for chocolate if I pay them. And I need chocolate whether or not I can pay the bills for the rest of the month. I know chocolate isn’t a fruit or vegetable and probably (perish the thought!) won’t be available in Heaven, but as You’ve put me on the earth for now and You’ve promised to provide the means to get us through life’s little surprises, then if You could make sure the chocolate supply doesn’t run out, then that would be very helpful indeed.

Thank you.

PS The same prayer applies for the bottle of Chardonnay in the fridge, just in case You hadn’t realised.